no rock without jazz

my pitty temper

please nobody but me

a time for hatred a time for bliss

intervention of different minds

take me to where your going

take me to where you've been

parting with your glory

go someone go some place, come my someone come my place

discover today's past

I heard your down I heard you lost

burning hope rotting time

staring at nothin'

all I need is another chance, to get out of here

running from lies running from hurts

disruption of society, awesome people

I'm as pathetic as everyone, try to change me now

he only cares for people like himself

I got some time to waste on ur self possesions

he wants to be heard he has all to say

always wanted to get away, come sit here and hold me for a while

I'm free to hate, I'm free to love, I'm free to hurt, I'm free to die

last day u and I, vodka we're on a roll
I'm satisfied, I seen your heart
I know your love, whisper in my ear,
sincere, tell me no, tell me yes,
tell what I want to hear


fancy dream, lookin' hopeful,
gonna take that medicine,
u make the medicine,
u make me better, then my
heart break in two


facing down, going down,
looking up, I'm going down,
pain running me over,
I don't heal


smoking worries I must have credit,
I'm on fire, on fire, christ don't mind,
I don't worship him, I don't pray,
he think's he knows me,
he doesn't know you, pitty of the heart


a step away from freedom,
a step too far, a risk too much,
gonna walk away beyond what I love,
far from here, far from there


I love this girl, but she is killing me,
I got no love, and this is killing me,
sitting here with all this hurt,
with my heart, full of dirt,
shouldn't I carry on,
and make her go away


she's fine for wasting time,
wasting time on me,
she's fine for me,
there's beauty in ur heart,
all she sees is pain in her life


open heart for everybody,
I don't need no help from anybody,
I don't need no cheat to make me happy,
gonna struggle and get into breakdown


take my hand, pull me through,
hold on tight, you lost your grip,
your grip on me, babe where u hide,
I'm searchin' for u now


great expectations I had for us,
leading me onward, I saw no sign,
no sign to stop, I carried on,
I carried on


legendary desperate soul,
fell from heaven, I fell to hell,
that was then, now is nothin',
you loved me, I loved that time


long, long ago, I was hoping for more,
I wanted more, more to love me,
here comes the fate, come blow me away,
come take my love away


tell me a little something, tell that u loved me,
and I'll keep running around for u,
this goin take some time,
it's goin to drive me down

think it's over, think it's done,
is it by chance or am I in trance,
I load my eyes, here's my heart,
to sacrifice

eyes in the socket, they began to cry,
heart and the soul, they began to die,
I got more blues then any of u,
gonna put my head up,
and smile for u

don't try to call me,
not talking to you,
no one to save me,
no one to hold me,
now time to help myself

my hell looks sweeter than yours

memories of another world hopes for a distant future

nymphomaniac OAPs

fly market aristocrats

insane rebels touch your heart

exorcize your mother

derelict morals

run down those blues

inside everloving outside decrepit

love unto me thy petty soul bounds no more pain

time all the crossing fears glow blinking at my eye'

anger jealous cries between the rotting dreams

signs of smoke like love goes up up into the sky

stuck on the tracks of crossing loves

gonna leave your world leave my world of emptiness

I know it's not gonna last, but I'm already on the ride and I cannot get off
without getting hurt

damned to depression pitty and lonelyness

goodbye my love I came to love and now I leave I leave your heart burning

ears ringing heart pounding mind extatic soul crying

my sanity is giving up, my love is fading, I am losing my hold, my hold on the world,
I'm falling, falling down, down in the world, how shall I die for there is no reason
to keep going, keep going on

my love lives deep inside, I can't hide it for long, it's burning up inside me,
let it out, outside me, I cannot lie, I cannot lie, there's no reason to fight,
this is where I die and love loses it's grip for another time

what did I say, what did I do and how did I do it, I know it doesn't matter,
I'm just running away, it was fine, but not now, you've changed your mind,
lets just carry on

where did u go, where did u find me, I saw u in the darkness and I brought u through,
where did u see me go, why did you follow, it's that, that I do not know, love me for
ever more

troubles double, they hurt, they make me cry, all I rely on is you, you and your love,
your pitty love for me, why do I get on a high it does not serve me well as mine for u,
my heart implodes, will u take care of it, carry me through, pitty or love I do not know,
just help me, help me keep alive in this world of false enitities and no morals,
it's a shame what they do to us, all the pain sorrow and pride

that's a start, a start of the many, the start of the deprived angered and evil,
what do u believe in, I'm leavin' everything alone, I know what I'll be needing,
hoping and praying for a better future, a better life, an old desire,
leave everyone behind, leave all the mess and wicked in the past,
strive to have it fair, have life good on you, my past should be gone,
but it carries on, into my world, try to turn the pages but it's stronger than ever before

look at my eyes, stare at them closely, what did u see, did u look deep into my soul,
u offend me with your painful truths and lies, I tried to make it good,
good for me and also for you, but u did not listen, listen to my cry, what is my crime,
using the filters on our sorrows, they filter through for another round,
there's no excuse, u must go on, I wonder what it's like, walkin' in your shoe'

I am pleased u came, I need someone to hear my pain, a good companion, a caring mind,
without you I'd lose it all, I abuse you like an enemy to let out the anger and
there's no one to explain why I am doin' this unto you, you bring me up,
you bring me down, you whistle sweetly, you stare and frown, you justify your actions,
you show no weakness, they say it won't be long till we see the sun,
all I see is darkness, there must be more before we go

strange to be happy, on the top of a depression, I've walked in it for many years,
I keep on falling down, nothin' here, nothin' there, I bare my soul for all to see,
all I get is pitty, laughter, no help, no hope, no joy, I want life to be a thrill
not a nightmare for all eternity, I need love, I have none, none from the people,
none from me, I don't need all this, it's too much to ask for I guess

do u think, that I am the one, do u think I will take your sorrow away,
do u really think I love you anymore, I hope so, but I don't know anymore,
I don't know, I don't know no more

we never chose our way, we never made our way, but we travel along it,
because it's our way, the only thing stopping us is death, eternal hurts,
but we're there anyway, I know I have done u wrong, I know u have not deserved it,
but when your faith has gone, u know nothin', nothin' at all, I've given my all,
I've tried my best, now it's time for u to care, to be that shoulder for me to cry on,
and u cry on mine, what are friends for

I move with pain follow, beyond the yard sorrow, great joy awaits, I struggle not far,
I try to keep up, it does not slow down, fluorescent colours in the eye,
sparkle like diamonds in the light of sky, creatures of mind wander the soul,
slow breathing, fast thoughts, simple dreams, recycled desire for another day,
great joy on the horizon, but out of sight

hell in fire, a sarcastic smile, an evil eye, clouds rain down not up, tough world,
hard to get it done, no more fun, little joy, give a clap for that lucky son,
hands dipped in gold honey, he has it done, so happy to be seen,
to be above us and we all clap, clap for that lucky son, I hate him the lucky one,
he the lucky one, me the sad one, I hate him the lucky one

lookin' at the window, I see nothin', they see all, I want to see but it reflects,
it shines in my eye it blinded me, I listen to them gasp, look at their expressions,
funny times, I'll kill them before I die, what an imagination

save me from I, I the pain, me the weak, wash I away, cleanse me, let me fly away,
make me happy once again

suspicion rises, anger rages, you know your kind, they cut out the truth,
and you lock us out, out of our way, but your saying it's for the best,
it's only for yourself, not for us, and you want to be happy,
so u cut the corners of truth, and not look deep into the facts,
u could have saved us, but you wanted it easy, easy on u

I listen to the devil, but he does not listen to my soul, he tells me the easy way,
he tells me what I want to hear, it's so funny, I came to die, I never had it good,
and u keep on saying it will get better but it never ever does, I can't hide my pain,
it leaks and they milk it out, out of me, it pours out, out of my heart

I never had a chance, can't u see, I need everything and I get nil,
they call me a ghost, a ghost of desire and lonely thought,
but don't we all think the same, the lights they blaze an inferno,
all is well, no complaints, I fall to my knees and I dream for tonight,
the music carries me away

I can't see your face, a blurred vision, I imagine happiness,
but happiness is only limited to my dreams, I can't see u anymore, u drift away,
all away, dear loved one I am gone I can't get back, my face on the floor,
I'm too deep for anyone to adventure down to, they don't know what I'm thinking
late in the afternoon, I start crying, crying no one is by my side,
everybody hates a sad loser

I hate what I've got, for all I have is hurts and pain, I long for a love,
for someone to love this man, that's trying to get out,
but he's confined to his hell, heaven's let me go, the lights go out, I'm lost,
where shall I go, where can I go, I hope I can be with that someone who could love
that man in me

I found a way, to forget the past, a way to smile, someone at my side,
but your too far away, it makes me think, I was brought to this world to suffer,
and I have simple hopes, can I be happy for one week, and maybe the next I ask myself,
and I turn away, there's no hope for me, I'm slowing up,
I'm crawling on my hands and knees, I need some help,
I need to feel free, but your far away, far away from me

u broke my fall, u end up hurt, I try to get u up, but I let u drop, u care for me,
I've been so selfish, happiness is not there, I cry blood red tears from me eye,
it's u I want, it's u I need, it's u who should be by my side, I'm so sorry,
so very sorry, but that's me, that's life, u end up hurt

the sun rises, hopes fall, happiness is multi-coloured and I am colour blind,
I close the blind, I see no hope, but the light it shines through and I'm happy,
don't disturb me, and then it's gone for another day, heavy head,
look down I can't see the joy in this world anymore

I watched u fall, did I push u, maybe I did, why did do that, surely I respect u,
I think I love you, I think u love me too, but I don't know for sure,
maybe I don't know u well enough, maybe this is just a mess, what am I to think,
what do u think, when u think about me, the window blows open and there u go,
all my hopes and trust are blown away

begging for salvation

blood shot brain

desire of a lonely soul

God: The Solicitor

I envy the dead

remind me of your failures

consolidate the blind

opressed opressions

peace with yourself war with the world

deceptive politics evil mind

conservative thoughts outrageous actions

turn up the noise don't feel the pain

empty lies the full truth

addicts of suicide

heart and soul mind and body, where are you going wrong?

scruples love lies envy loves happiness

lessons told by an adulteror

embaressment knocks on the door

protect the evil, pain for the innocent

a cent for the midwife, a life for satan

please die

aslong as your with me aslong as I'm happy

we all hate hate

flush out the filth

take in the love

open heart accept me

come to my world- depression

u can't measure my love for you

I'm not sure how or even why you feel for me

let my heart crumble away

I think love is a fantasy

my love for you is everything that I live for

love me or loathe me

distant hope distant love

I made you cry for my own satisfaction

the law of love I do not follow and I don't know why

determined to find peace of mind to make life easier on me

love yourself because no one will love a...

I won't love you for what you've done I'll love you for what you are

National Convention of Sheep Farmers

no time for pain or anger

a gay father a caring son

supernatural entity fool the millions

for you love for me pain

weeding the people

paranoid feelings envelop the mind

wrestle your fears not the way

get your own sanity

live alone don't complain to me

no heart no love no lord

brimstone the people's pain

follow a fool now you pay

similar thoughts different intentions

maybe i'll kill myself before you have a chance to prove yourself

mellow happiness pathetic life

the longer we stay like this the longer we get hurt

cold thoughts warm life

begging for insanity

she takes the wrong way I'll follow her, I'll follow her

confused by questions confused by answers

choose me choose destiny

afraid of the weak

destroy the humble mind

peace at war

paint satan on your soul

abuse the dearest love

hormone rush honey run life

inquest of an entity

institute of the compelled to bleed

crazy prophecy prosecute the weak

pseudo sanity

republican pulpit

pummel the heart

hope vandals

punctual death

pungent grief

pursue putrid dreams

quaint insanity

quarantine the sane

tabloid void mind

Tolerate my attitude
Or I won't like you
It doesn't mean that I'll despise you
If you loved me you wouldn't be that ghost
That ghost looking down at me

Ready for everything
Except for redemption
You smile like a loonatic
You don't show your pain

One too many two too far
Go forth through the evil into the joy
Paralyzed spine feel no fear

On your own a personal dilema
Make your own way feel the pain
Take your time and let it drift away

Bugged the room ready to hear
Where you going with this strange taboo

Tonight the holes appear
The happy end on the highway
Ghouls and Chaplin befriend my soul
In the darky mists of it all

Emotions covered in the mind
Put aside to let them spawn again
Burning up inside myself
I really don't remember why

Death is just a breath away
Go on make me pay
It's just another day
Show the way
I will follow

Stay for now
Then go away
I'll use you
Get rid of your pity

Ethical Foreign Ministry
United Factions of War
It's animal liberation
It's too late for co-operation

Midest sun let me free
Let me feel every day
Make cruel remarks about the children
I love the hate that comes from the soul
Help me struggle through

I'll bring you down with me
Let me go I'm a mistake
Judge with authority hold no pain
Make it easy for you to be the one

Do you feel my pain
Does it rot your soul
Sorrow for the one
Feel my pain

Come on come again
It's gone forever
Flow with the water
Your going again

Your the one let it be so
Do you realise the pain
I've caused for us both
Or is it a dream of silent empire

Fallen angel see the angst
See the evils of the soul
Spread it around
Fear is contagious

Little bub fly the wheel
Let it rain end the pain
Remember the happiness
A different point of view

Rumours change your mind
You'll make it through
We're all cowboys rebeling
Against each other

What is good u know it
You don't believe in it
Spit on the ground I walk
Fertilize the anger

Show us what you are
It's always self rejected
It's mean open the wounds
and I go

She takes the cane
For the rest of us
I beg you to stop
But it's all their say

Democracy the devil's name
Uneducated and corrupted
They say what they want
It's not our fault

Concern yourself with me
Place yourself with me
All we want is peace of mind
It's going down

Tell the world of your god
Boring infatuations
Where the bugger be
Allmighty son of grief

I'm ready to kill them again
Sacrifice the soul for mind
Crazy thoughts insane concept
Where shall I go

I'm with no one bound by heart
To everlasting sickness
Put head on stone
And knock it out

Get out get out
It's eating you up
Won't u wake up
Don't let them win

Friend of an antichrist
See his ways follow his commands
Find a way out of insanity
Learn your lessons

Let me free
I made my own destiny
And I have to live with it
Never knew it would end this way

Build it up let it fall
Pleased to rest my head
Don't laugh don't show your joy
Open up let it come out

Imagine a way out
Thinkin' in my head
And it don't work

Don't trust a demon with your heart
He'll rip it up apart oh it's another mistake
Hell is a nightmare it eats at your soul
Look down at evil look up at me

Pleasing the souls
How am I supposed to feel
What am I to say
I don't want to hurt again

Remember me and you
I miss the love
I miss you love
Desire and emptiness
Enough heart for two
Why a choice for one

Station of my heart
Everytime I hurt
I think of you
And her

I'm just a kid
Come to bring you down
I don't care
I have it fair

I've made it worse
I've made u what u r
Make it easier on me
Send me back
I've got it all

Today I morn for you
I morn for you again
Never a day I don't hurt
Surely I'm depressed
Maybe a torch to light my world
Like you do like a fool

Your the one
For our hurts
I'll help u through
Do u feel the same

Maybe you've changed
I'll test you out
It might be that u love me
Some more...

Blood is curdled like soup
It winds it's way out
Into my world
It's our pain

Rebel of hurts
Sanctioned pain
Take it out
Out of my life

Yanky bastard sit down
It's time for you soon
Go away it's my day
I'm happy I want to stay

Jealous minds come out
Of they're way
To hurt me more
Another hurt feeling
A mind of worries

Death of a star
Burning hopes
Dreams are gone
Turn it up

Copyright: Aidan Peter Smith 1999
Contact: [email protected]
Other WWW: http://www.mraps.freeserve.co.uk
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